Growing up I never experienced physical growing pains. I think I was a slow-and-steady type of kid. No major growth spurts that I can remember.
But as I undertake this process of complete and utter metamorphosis, I am coming to understand growth can hurt a lot. And it's impossible to avoid.
By design, birth is painful. And from my observations, birthing is exactly what we are experiencing as a human collective right now.
I recall my brother-in-law looking me in the eyes years ago as I was climbing into the car with my big belly and massive labor pains. He said, “You can do it. This shows you just how strong you are and will be something you can draw on for years to come when things get hard.” His words bubble back up today as I am confronted with a painful decision that I have known for some time is necessary for me to make. And I just officially made it. Driving home from signing the school transfer papers for my children I realized I wasn’t crying out of fear or overwhelm, two major reasons for tears in the past. Instead, I was crying because I was simply sad. Sad for my children to leave a school and a community that our family loves. It hurts. But I also see that I am now strong enough to handle it and that is phenomenal growth. My heart is full of love and awe for the bravery of my children. I see that they feel safe in themselves, supported by our family and comfortable enough to know they can handle being the new kids again. That is something to be very proud of. And they hinted at how this might just be the best move we've ever made.
“Look for the light, Mom.” They say, reflecting my own words back to me. It’s true. But it's also important to make room for the hard stuff, too. Not to discount the more difficult emotions because it's uncomfortable to feel them. No bypassing necessary. Pain doesn’t need to be avoided or buried. We can allow it to move us in the way in which it is designed: to expand us and help us grow. Experience the full spectrum of emotions available to us in our human forms. None of them are wrong.
It is only when we get stuck in an emotion that problems begin to arise. And it's easy to loop negative thoughts when we are in survival mode. But when we begin to break free of this old way of being and can create safety and trust in ourselves, any and all emotions are easier to digest.
This must be one of the gifts of getting older. To have been through big things and know yourself much better. To recognize your own strength, have learned the tools necessary for course correction and to carry the wisdom that you are divinely supported and never really alone.
So experience it all and don’t get stuck.
Feel it. Let it move you. And move forward.
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